


Coldingham Bay

by kei28



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Blood and Injury, Communication, Established Relationship, Established Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, First War with Voldemort, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Who is the spy?, they finally talk, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 17:47:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29475708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kei28/pseuds/kei28
Summary: Sirius and Remus finally talk.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 16





	Coldingham Bay

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not support JKR nor agree with any of her transphobic statements. If you do, please leave

Remus panicked. When Remus panicked, it was never a good thing.

But when he saw Sirius dropping on the ground, while a red stain crept quickly on his white shirt, he did what at the time seemed the only logical thing. He disapparated both of them, leaving the shouts and bangs of the battlefield in a matter of seconds.

With a loud  _ crack _ , they landed on damp sand. Remus could hear small waves crashing placidly on the shore and smell salt and grass. It was remarkably familiar but his mind couldn't focus on anything but Sirius, who was lying on his back, groaning in pain. 

They shouldn’t have apparated, Remus was aware of that. Sirius was too injured to stand it but they needed to get away from that place. However, he had left his friends behind too...

Sirius whined again and the younger boy forced himself to concentrate on his task: healing his boyfriend.

With trembling hands, Remus opened Sirius’ shirt, discovering that he had several cuts all over his torso, some deeper than others –Remus didn’t even want to know what kind of spell could do that.

“Sirius, don’t fall asleep, okay?”, Remus’ voice came out like a squeal. The boy nodded, but his eyes were closed.

The werewolf started casting the same old spells he used on himself after a full moon. He later applied a few drops of Essence of Dittany, that never had left his pocket since the day he joined the Order. Sirius’ face gained some colour but he looked tired and in pain nevertheless, and Remus felt worry wash over his body.

“Thank you, love,” Sirius said with a forced smile. The other boy caressed softly his cheek, as a response.

“Don’t fall asleep, ” Remus repeated.

“Mmh.”

The werewolf applied some more drops of Dittany on the deeper wounds. He wished he could do more, but it was James the healer of the group; he confined himself in a few basic spells that could just roughly knit your skin back together.

“I should send a message to the others,” Remus mumbled. He cast a Patronus directed to Lily and James that said,  _Padfoot and I are okay. He is injured, so we will stay here till it’s safe to apparate. He is okay, just needs rest. Sorry we left. Mischief Managed_.  It was common use to finish messages in that way, so they were sure no one was setting them up since no one knew about the Marauder’s Map except for Lily. You couldn’t be too careful these days. Remus’ wolf walked around him for a few seconds – perhaps trying to comfort him? – and then vanished.

Sirius slowly shifted from his position and put his head on the werewolf’s legs and looked up to his boyfriend, “Where are we?”

Remus finally gave himself the chance to look around. They had landed in a deserted part of a bay — fortunately, no one was there.A few metres away, there were a couple of moored cerulean boats, that looked they hadn’t been used in years. With a growing warm in his chest, he recognised the place.

“Uhm... Coldingham Bay, I think. I don’t know why it popped up in my mind.”

“Oh lovely, I missed this place.” Sirius inhaled deeply closed-eyes, almost content.

They had spent a few days there, just before James and Lily’s wedding. It had been just the four of them and Peter; a normal vacation, like normal people. It had been fun to pretend that there wasn’t a war waiting for them, back at home.

Sirius and Remus stayed in silence for a while, enjoying the calm. Remus’ hand was stroking the other boy’s hair. Suddenly a gentle white light appeared, informing the two wizards that a shining silver doe was approaching.

_ Thank Godric! _ , Lily’s voice was tense but warm as usual,  _We are fine too. Prongs got me and Wormtail out of danger as soon as he understood the spy had betrayed us again. He is furious. Be safe, mischief managed_. 

Remus sighed, relieved. At least their friends were okay; he wouldn’t ever forgive himself if something had happened to them, while he ran away. Sirius seemed to be thinking the same, although he still looked troubled.

“What’s wrong?”, Remus asked softly.

“Mm? Nothing.”

The werewolf just looked vehemently at him, prompting him to talk; it worked because he carefully sat up and spoke, “Just... I was just thinking about the spy, you know? I can't wrap my head around it.” Sirius, who moments before was calm, now was fervid with rage. Remus could tell by the way his eyebrows curved and his blue eyes became icy grey. “James and I hypothesize all the time about who it could be, but we just go round in circles.”

“Perhaps, it would be better to stop, ” Remus said.

“What you mean?”

“Stop looking for the spy. They will expose themselves at some point.”

Sirius looked at him with an odd expression. Lupin couldn’t read it, and it was happening more and more these days. It was frustrating. The whole playing-warriors thing was killing their communication skills, and slowly their relationship too. All they did was going on missions, attend meetings, sleep, shag, get drunk and fight. There was never time to talk, it was never a good time. Remus didn’t feel like they actually had the energy to. 

But, sometimes, Remus did know what Sirius was thinking. He knew every time he came back from weeks-long missions with the werewolves pack, and his boyfriend would kiss him and then look at him as if he didn’t recognise him. Or when he caught Sirius glancing at his forearm, searching for black ink. Or –  _ for Merlin’s sake _ – when Sirius talked about missions with James and would make sure to use a cryptic language, if Remus was around.

He  knew what Sirius was thinking but he never had the courage to face it.

None of them spoke for a couple of minutes; they just stared at each other, waiting for the other to talk.

_ When did we become like this, Pads? _ , Remus thought miserably. They used to be able to talk about everything, they used to talk for hours and hours until their throats hurt. Fuck, at times they didn’t even need to talk because they knew what the other was going to say seconds before they did. And now, Remus was looking at Sirius and it was like reading a book upside down: you recognise most of the words but nothing made sense anyway.

“What do you know, Remus?”

“I know nothing about the spy if that’s what you mean.”

Sirius wasn’t convinced, but he didn’t add anything.

“I’m not the spy, Sirius.”

If thinking it had been hard, saying it out loud had been devastating. How could he think that he was the spy? How many people believed so, too?

Remus felt his eyes burn while he said again, “I’m not the spy. I would rather die than betray you.”

Sirius’ shoulders fell, “Moony-”

“It’s true. Please, believe me.”

Black lunged at him, enveloping him in a tight hug, “Merlin, I do. I’m an idiot, for fuck’s sake.”

Remus felt hot tears falling over his shirt, so he hugged him tighter.

Sirius continued, “I- I couldn’t believe it myself, my love. My mind just won’t stop running these days and it comes up with gormless conclusions. Forgive me.”

“Of course I forgive you. I know what that feels like. I just can't stop thinking about James, Lily and the baby, and what it will be like when he finally arrives. About you and your reckless arse on those stupid missions. And poor Peter, I don’t think I have seen him laugh in weeks.”

Remus broke the embrace, so he could face Sirius. His eyes were puffy and tired, but the werewolf could read a newfound hope in them; “It’s all just too much, too overwhelming. That’s why we’ve been so stupid, Pads. We ought to talk more, trust each other and be as close as possible. Otherwise, we are not going to win this war.”

Sirius gazed at him as if he was amazed by the boy in front of him, and then kissed him. The kiss tasted of salt and promises. “You’re right, you bloody brilliant twat. I love you so, so much”, Black said when they broke away, holding Remus’ face between his hands.

“I love you too.”

“From now on, I’ll complain to you about every single thing that bothers me, I promise.”

“Oh, Godric help me.”

Sirius grinned fondly before kissing him again. 

It wasn’t much but knowing that they had each other and that now they wouldn’t let each other go, was enough to face whatever was coming at them. They were enough.


End file.
